Today on my run home, I had a whirlwind of thoughts going through my mind.
“Don’t get hit by a car.”
“Watch for ice.”
“What are you going to do about grad school?”
“Should you really be taking a trip to Africa?”
“What are you going to do if you don’t get that fellowship?”
Without getting into a long story, I’m technically out of a job in June. The new administration takes over and I’m not guaranteed a job. (At least, that is my understanding.) I would love to stay on with the CRNC but at the same time, I need to get my ass in gear and do something. I briefly looked into grad school at John Hopkin’s University in DC. I would do a part time Masters program in Government. At this point in my life, I really can’t go to school full time and live in DC without taking out some sort of loan, which is something I’m trying to avoid. Rent is too high, students loans are in repayment, you know the drill. If I went to school full time, I could have my MA in a year. The part time program would take a year and a half, two years if I did summer school and would give me the ability to work full time. I know this would be exhausting but it would give me another piece of paper that says “I’m educated”. And if I don’t do a masters program, I need to take the LSAT…in June.
While grad school should be the number one thought on my mind, I really want to travel some more. I decided today that I want to visit Spain and Morocco, if possible in April. Round trip plane tickets are around $800, which is awesome, and it would add two more stamps in my passport. I also really want to go to Israel. Since things are a bit unstable back in the Middle East, now isn’t the right time. Regardless, I want to travel some more and now is better than any time. I have no commitments to school and nothing holding me back really.
And the fellowship. I won’t know about the fellowship until June. If I get it, I’m definitely taking it unless I come across some job that pays $50k a year! The fellowship puts me in grad school, pays (horribly), and puts me back in California. It would be a new city [Sacramento] and needless to say, a new adventure.
So those are my thoughts. I don’t like not having a plan and at the moment, I don’t have a set plan. I have hypothetical plans for hypothetical situations but none of them are set in stone and that bothers me. I have a hard time believing that things happen for a reason because I feel like I can control a lot of my fate based on the plans I make. If I don’t have any plans, then I can’t control my fate.
